Several cool things appeared in my Facebook news feed today, so I decided to put them here in one place. This way, if I get anxious or down later, I can find them all easily.
#1: This Facebook Singalong:
2. I completed Week 3 of my 5K program:
3. R2D2 took the Ice Bucket Challenge:
4. Nathan Fillion took the Ice Bucket Challenge (this is the one I’ve been waiting for):
5. This mashup of the “Cups” song and Le Sacre du Printemps (The Rite of Spring):
I don’t know if I can handle any more awesomeness today. That was quite a lot….
I just wanted a chance to say “crazy” and “random” together, because that’s kind of how my life is right now. Oh, that reminds me…
My “do whatever I want” workout is going well. I am running again, surprisingly, and I kind of like it. I’m working back up to 5K right now…
This was today, Week 2, Day 2.
Considering the last time I bought running shoes I did not yet know I was pregnant with this girl, who is about to turn 4…. I should probably buy some new running shoes soon. What are your favorites? I honestly have no idea what I want. Besides something cute. And maybe flourescent.
Oh, and something else crazy happened. I kinda sorta GOT AN A IN STATS!
I couldn’t believe it. In fact, when my instructor sent me my grade through email, I replied, “Seriously?” with the same face as Doctor 10 up there…
Seriously, though, I have been in college for most of the time between 1992 and now, and I have NEVER worked as hard for a class as I did for this one. Thank you Baby Jesus for helping me pull this one off. I just have to deal with Stats 2 and Qualitative research in the Fall. Without dying.
I just (less than an hour ago) turned in my final assignment for my statistics I class. I am hoping (praying) for a B in the class, so I don’t ever have to take it again. Of course, that just means Stats 2 in the Fall… but I’ll deal with that when I get there.
I started running again, and I’m doing a 5K runner program. But so far, I did Week 1 Day 1 last Thursday, and Week 1 day 2 last Monday. So I’m not really with the consistency here.
It’s like this (pretend each line is a day):
Oh no I have to study/see my professor during my lunch
Oh no I’m sick.
Well enough to be at work but still sick-ish.
Can’t run no childcare.
Hey it’s time to study
Wait, am I sick again?
Do you see the pattern?
But stats is now officially over and I can have my life back for a little while.
I’m going to put it out there: I’m going to run 3 times a week (preferably Monday, Wednesday and Friday) to the 5K program (which I will start over on Monday). I also plan to do yoga or piyo after my baby goes to sleep (since every morning I wake up at 4:30 and she senses it and demands to be held). Oh, and I ironically used some Beachbody commission (yes, I still get that) to buy the new Zumba program. So I’m going to be partying at my house….At least until the fall when Stats 2 comes around…
I am head-deep in stats insanity (only 3 more classes to go!!) but during this stressful time, my eating has been bad. I have accepted that I may have an eating disorder. I have been doing research (because I love that stuff) and I seem to fit all the signs. I started to read a book (in my spare time) called “Life without ED” and it all seems so familiar to me.
I have been attempting to diet since January. So, like Most of the Year. I do well for a few days, and then I binge. Sometimes I purge (there I said it). I realize this is NOT healthy behavior. So, I have decided I need to heal my relationship with food, and I’m going to do a Whole 30.
(You can read more about the Whole 30 here)
I was in the midst of a Whole 30 when I found out I was pregnant with Lil A, and while some people can control themselves while pregnant, I found that the only thing that helped with nausea was eating massive amounts of Cheezits. It was a stressful time, and I think I can pinpoint that as the start of some of my not-healthy food behaviors (although if I really look back I’ve been dealing with this since teen years).
So for 30 days, I’m not going to weigh or measure my food. I’m going to practice awareness. I’m going to eat until I’m satisfied, not until I can’t sit up straight. And I’m going to eat quality whole foods.
Now, when it comes to working out, well… it’s pretty much non-existent. I am so burned out on weightlifting and cardio. I need to enjoy exercise again. So, I have some ideas. Zumba. Piyo. Maybe running (I *did* sign up for a 5K in November so I should probably train for that). But my main thing is I’m not going to freak out if I don’t get the exact workout on the exact day that I was supposed to.
Stats will actually be over soon (there is an end in sight!) and I’ll have nights free again and lunches. I just need to train my baby to stay in bed when I wake up.
I feel a huge relief having written all this out. It’s like I’ve given myself permission to just exist for a little while. I’m not going to diet, I’m going to eat mindfully. I’m only doing workouts that are fun. Let’s see how I feel at the end of August.
So, we had our first stats exam on Thursday night. I went in to see my professor on Thursday morning and felt strangely calm, like I kind of knew what I was doing. I was still nervous though.
I took the exam, and finished first. This happens to me with every exam. I don’t know why, I’m just always the first to finish. I took my time and checked and rechecked my answers, but I still finished first. I was tempted to feel good about the test but I didn’t want to be over confident.
Our professor had told us he would try to get us our grades Friday but if not it would be Monday. I waited for them on Friday until getting the email that he would send them on Monday. So I was in for a long weekend.
I did some homework and went to study group, which was challenging since I brought all three children
I made a collage of them during their best moments…
This morning, our professor sent this email:
I was caring for a sick baby and so I dictated a response to Siri and sent it. Later I noticed that instead of “Dr. K.” I had addressed him as “Dr. Kay.”
I waited for a while and hit refresh on my email ever 6 seconds for what seemed like forever.
Then I got this:
So, while I may have looked stupid getting his name wrong, I did get some pretty good news.
Maybe I will pass after all 🙂
I know I said I wouldn’t blog much this month, but I felt like I should at least have some company in my pity party.
Stats is bringing back all kinds of childhood inadequacies. I was bad at math. Really bad. And I tried to learn. But I guess I didn’t. So here I am at age 40 feeling that same frustration again. I feel like no matter how hard I try, I just don’t have the ability to understand it.
I feel worried that I will fail. If I fail, I’m done. No doctorate for me.
So I’m sitting here crying and trying to snap out of it because crying about it doesn’t help anything. But I have all these kids and this job and money problems and now I’m 10 years old again failing at math.
I have issues.
Well I’m in the midst of the Summer II 2014 Insane Challenge (or whatever I’m calling it). Stats is as hard as I thought it would be. I’m also taking another class and trying really hard not to let Stats overshadow it.
To be fair, I do have moments in stats that I enjoy. I have light bulb moments. Aha moments. Those are great moments. I also sometimes want to pull my hair out.
What the heck is that ^^^?
One of the things that messes me up the most is when people in class ask questions. That shouldn’t bother me, but I feel like I have a very tenuous grasp on the material, and then they ask questions and I get confused and my tenuous grasp is gone….
I have to admit I’ve been seriously wondering if I can do this. The odds are against me. But I am going to continue to do my best. Failing this class is really not an option.
Here’s a picture our professor took of us at the beginning of class Thursday night. He says it’s his first ever all female stats class, so he wanted to take a picture. That’s a topic for another day….
I’m the one in the Superman shirt. (I almost said, “I’m the one in blue” just to mess with you…)