Every now and then, I feel the need to address the elusive thing called “Balance”. Or, more specifically, my lack of it.
I have three children, aged 6, 3 and (one week away from) 1 year old. I work full time. I am taking 6 hours of classes working towards an Ed. D. I also have a dream that one day (sooner rather than later) I will compete in my first figure competition and NOT embarrass myself.
I read organizing blogs like A Bowl Full of Lemons and Forever Organised, fantasizing about having a life filled with organization and order, then get home and struggle to feed and bathe everyone before passing out, with chaos everywhere.
Many days I feel like I’m failing at most things. In fact, on any given day, one of the above areas of my life suffers. I very rarely excel at all of them.
So this morning, my son and I were talking about his best buddy at school. My son had a field trip the other day, and I couldn’t go because of work, so he was asking me why. He asked if his buddy’s mom had a job. She’s a stay at home mom to 3 boys, so I said, “Her job is to be a mom.” My son: “Yes, she has 3 kids. That’s a lot of kids.” Me: “Yep”.
He asked why she didn’t have another job and I tried to explain that taking care of three kids is enough work. “But why do you have a job, Mommy? You have 3 kids too!”
He has a point.
I didn’t want to bring money into it. I like to think I work for more reasons than just money. But sometimes I think if money were no object, I would quit my job and parent, workout and organize all the time. I would do cute little crafts with my kids. I would go on field trips. Maybe I would even home school.
But the point is, I have a career and I enjoy being (somewhat) self-sufficient. Is that selfish? I don’t know.
I do know that balance is a myth. Right now, the semester is coming to an end, and I should be spending a lot more time on my final paper. So “balance” right now consists of me doing that and doing less of something else. Maybe less sleeping or working out. Parenting and going to work are non-negotiable. The house doesn’t necessarily have to be clean.
So I guess that’s balance. Soon the semester will be over and maybe my house will be clean, and I’ll learn to scrapbook or knit or all those things I’ve always wanted to do. Yay, balance.