Warning: This post contains spoilers from last night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy. So, you know, don’t read if you don’t want to know.
Last night’s Grey’s was billed as the “Sliding Doors” episode. You know, like the Gwyneth Paltrow movie where she pretends to have a British accent? Her life goes two ways depending on whether she misses the subway or not. I admit to watching it many times- on VHS- during the late 90s. I owned it. It was one of my favorite movies, mainly because of the Scottish actor. You know the one. Anyway…
Cristina had two different scenarios for how her life would go. In the first one, she married Owen and ended up having kids- which she said she would never do- and gave up her work on her trial because she felt the pull of mommy-hood. She ended up presenting someone else with the Harper Avery award for that same work, and cried and was miserable, hating her life.
This really got me. I’ve never been a super successful surgeon, but I grew up thinking I would be very successful at my career. I’m… moderately successful. But I definitely feel that “pull”. In fact, I’ll just say it: I would probably have gotten further in my career by now if I didn’t have kids.
Now, in Cristina’s situation, Owen didn’t give up anything for the kids. He gave up a job because Cristina didn’t want to move, but it didn’t seem like he felt that same “pull” to give up things for the children.
And that’s the way it seems to be. As a mother, I want to be with them when they’re sick, even if I know they’re with their dad. I need to be there to take care of them. I have trouble balancing everything. I feel overwhelmed all the time.
I’m not really sure what the point of this is. I kind of had a “Sliding Doors” experience of my own last night after the show. What would my life look like if I didn’t get married or have kids? It’s fun to fantasize about, but the main thing is, they are here now and I’m smitten with each of them. I guess being a mother is the most important job I’ll have anyway.