11/13/09: Yoga, Pie and Ice Cream

I overslept Friday morning, so I did my yoga practice in the afternoon after work. I did the “Aloha Abs” premix from Eoin’s “Power Yoga for Happiness 2″. It was about 70 minutes. I felt really out of balance. I had a hard time balancing in most poses, and actually fell out of Revolved Half Moon rather dramatically, landing on both cats. Hopefully this will get them to leave me alone when I do yoga, because they just love laying right in the middle of my mat.

My husband made a nice dinner, and afterwards we had pie and ice cream. I decided not to worry about it, since it was a special Friday thing, and also, I wasn’t drinking, and that’s the most important part.

11/12/09: I am amazed at my awesomeness

My new running buddy and I decided to go for 4 miles today. This is huge. She is hardcore- ROTC. She even may be more hard core than me…

Anyway, we ran on the indoor track. 26 laps = 4 miles. We walked before and after. She kept me at a pretty good pace. Those last 3-4 laps were very challenging, but I made it, and I was so proud.

This is the most I’ve run in literally years.

I didn’t get to do any yoga today, but that’s alright.

I did finish my 100 pushups though. Did some other upper body work after the run…

I’m putting a lot of the energy I used to put into negative behaviors into running. It seems to be running. Country Music Half Marathon is in April….

11/11/09: Wednesday

This was a better day.

I did my yoga practice in the morning.

Before I had a chance to get the blues, I decided to go for a walk. The weather was beautiful.

Towards the end of the day I started feeling a yucky scratchy thing in my throat. I decided I refuse any sickness, so I nipped it completely by taking Nyquil when I got home. Hubby was kind enough to help with our son, and I planned to sleep all night, but ended up waking up just in time for Glee. Yay.

I felt amazing after a good night’s sleep.

11/10/09: A Better Day

Tuesday morning I managed to wake up (although I really didn’t want to) and do my yoga. I did the premix “Twisted Sister” from Eoin Finn’s “Power Yoga for Happiness 2″. It was about 47 minutes long. Yum.

I meditated for a little while afterwards thanking God for the things I have, and asking for strength to get through the day….

I’ve found that I tend to hit a wall usually around 1:00 every afternoon. I start to feel despair and just cry. I’ve decided this must be what it’s like if Dementors enter the Music Library….

So, after a big long cry, I left work at 3:00 and went to the gym. I ran 3 miles on the treadmill. It was a good run. I went with a friend, who was very encouraging. We’re going to meet again on Thursday and see if we can do 4 miles.

I guess it’s not going to be easy, but one day at a time, I can do it.

11/09/09: Workout success/Personal fail

I guess I’m lucky to be someone who enjoys working out. I’ve been able to channel some of my former self-destructive behaviors into more healthy workout behaviors. Monday, I started off great. Great mood. Felt awesome. Felt thankful….

Then…

Something happened that reminded me why I have been sad. Something that reminded me of some of the actions I’ve taken that hurt other people. As much as I’ve tried to move on, it still hurts.

So, I had a rough afternoon.

It makes me mad that I lost my power, that I let an external happening take away my peace and my self worth.

So, I left work a few minutes early and went to the gym.

I ran 20 laps, which works out to about 3.1 miles. So, I ran a 5K on the track. I didn’t plan on it when I started, I just kept going, one lap at a time.

Earlier in the morning, I did my yoga practice: Eoin’s Pure and Simple Yoga. I love it. It helped me start the day centered and happy. It’s funny, when I’m doing my practice, I feel like a good person. I feel loved, and worthy… I wish I could hang onto this through the day…

I also did 50 push ups in the morning, and 50 pushups after my run. I love being able to say I did 100 pushups.

While I had a great workout, I was reminded of some of my weaknesses, and how much work I still have left to do.

But, I’m still sober…

11/08/09: What a good day…

The show I was playing for is over, so I’m looking forward to a more normal schedule. Today, my son and I skipped church and stayed home. We even took a nap.

When my husband got home, he took our son to the store, which gave me some time for yoga.

I tried an Eoin Finn Download (“Full Routine 2″) I’d never done before. It’s a little over an hour and a half, and I only made it through an hour before needing to stop when the boys got home.

It’s a recording of a live class. I love the feeling of a live class. It’s also quite challenging. Eoin says repeatedly how he’s trying to challenge, how he’s trying to make us as fit as possible….

It was great. I feel great. If my son goes to sleep on time, I may try to do the last 40 minutes tonight, but if not, I still feel like I got a great practice.

11/07/09: 100

My main workout today was running. I went running outside, which is always harder for me than treadmill or indoor track, so I tend to avoid it. But, I’m glad I did it. I did the following:

Walk 6 minutes

Run 20 minutes

Walk 6 minutes

So, I probably didn’t make it to 3 miles, but I did run for the longest stretch outside that I have since probably July…

I also decided to squeeze in upper body stuff throughout the day. I got out the pull up bar and did some negatives, 4 at a time. I alternated with pushups in sets of 15 (and one set of 10).

I didn’t do it all at once, just as I was doing housework. I made it to 100 pushups! I am very proud All big girl/toe pushups. I am awesome.

I also did some squats/lunges/step ups with 2 10 pound weights.

I’m toast.

Another show tonight, and then we’re done. I’ll have my regular schedule back.

What a week.

Day 15.

11/06/09: Blissed out…

I am in love with Eoin Finn, but in a totally appropriate and platonic way.

These past 13 days, I have relied heavily on yoga to help me stay calm, centered, spiritual… and I find that I only want to do practices led by Eoin Finn. The emphasis is on love, bliss, loving yourself, being in the moment, being healthy… all the things I need right now.

So, I can’t help it. I want to declare my love for him to the world.

Anyway, I bought his “Pure and Simple Yoga” DVD, and it arrived yesterday. I did it this morning. It was a perfect 40 minute practice. Beautiful scenery. I feel so full of bliss after doing it. I may have to do it again when I get home tonight. This totally beats wine…

 

11/05/09: Remember, remember, the fifth of November…

I stayed up way too late last night after rehearsal. It was an amazingly long day, and I just wanted some time to chill. This made the morning rather painful. Instead of yoga before work, I tried to get a little more sleep.

But, I did do well at the gym. I ran on the track today.

Walk 3 laps (about .5 mile)

Run 13 laps (2 miles)

Walk 3 laps (.5 mile)

I did some abs and then stretched a lot.

I’m getting better at the running, and finding it to be a help.

We have a show tonight, so another late night coming up. Going to go in late to work tomorrow so I can make sure I get sleep AND yoga (don’t want to miss yoga more than 1 day).

My good friend gave me a formula today: H.A.L.T.

It is to remind me to pay special attention to my behaviors when I’m :

Hungry

Angry

Lonely

Tired

- Those are the times I usually make the worst choices. For example, right now, I feel lonely, and I want to eat chocolate, but I won’t because I’m not hungry. I’m also tired. Not angry, though.

Day 13.

11/04/09: Still fighting it…

The title refers to the Ben Folds song. I feel like I’ve been fighting all day. Fighting cravings, fighting sadness, fighting feeling hopeless, fighting regret…

Anyway, I made it to the gym, even though I really didn’t want to. But, once again, I’m glad I went.

I ran and did some upper body.

Walk 5 minutes

Run 25 minutes

Walk 5 minutes

Did assisted pull ups, push ups (in sets of 15), lat pull downs, shoulder press, and some lunges and dips. Did a total of 60 push ups, although I was aiming for 100….

So, I’ve got rehearsal tonight, and I am determined NOT to eat 10 snickers when I get home. I managed to resist last night, and woke up very proud. Things like hot showers, watching Hulu, sparkly water… those are the ways I’m treating myself, not with food or alcohol…