Uberlibrarian’s head is spinning…

My job is stressing me out. I stress ate a medium chocolate frozen yogurt. I guess it could be worse.

Last night, I did really well *except* for eating 4 biscuits, which blew the whole day. I was just so hungry. I did manage to work out- Firm Total Body Toner. I made it 30 minutes before needing to stop and care for son, then I was able to finish the last 10. 

I’m so discouraged, getting a little depressed, and feeling out of control. I can’t get up in the morning (I slept again until 6) in time to work out. When I get home, I really need to pay attention to my son, clean, and cook dinner, so it’s hard to make myself work out – I feel selfish (and I think my husband is thinking that about me too).

Tonight we are having company so if I work out I’ll have to do it quickly, then shower, then make dinner, and find some way to feed and bathe Rowan during all of this, and there are still clothes in the dryer that need to be put away. I’ll do all this while trying to convince myself not to eat or drink something bad and blow the whole day again.

I just can’t do everything I’m supposed to. I don’t recycle. I throw away plastic water bottles. I eat bad. I blow it.

This is a frantic crazy post but I just needed to let it out. Back to creating more presentations and pretending I am familiar with the online databases they didn’t have at my old job. I am not an expert at 2 weeks, but I feel like I should be. Great, more feelings of inferiority.

~ by uberlibrarian on September 10, 2008.